A client recently asked us to explain inflation, and we did our best. Unfortunately, the explanation went badly, because the client was a cat, and cats do not accept that a treat can lose value. We have therefore prepared a second explanation.
What is inflation?
Inflation is when things cost more than they used to. A treat that once cost one purr now costs two purrs and a stare. A scratch behind the ears that once cost nothing now costs a sit on the lap. The rate of change is known as the Rate, and everybody in the office is afraid of it.
Why does it happen?
There are many theories. Our chief economist, a cat named Biscuit, believes inflation is caused by the human, who keeps raising the price of everything in the kitchen. Our junior analyst believes it is caused by the dog. Our chairman believes it is caused by a draught.
The effect on your savings
If your treat sits in a drawer, and the treat does not grow, then over time the treat feels smaller. It is the same treat. It is the same size. But the world around it has grown. This is a deeply sad idea and the firm does not like to dwell on it.
How cats can respond
- Eat the treat now, which is the traditional approach
- Hide the treat somewhere warm, which is the sensible approach
- Ask for a second treat, which is the confident approach
- Sleep on it, which is the firm’s approach
Some terms to know
Deflation is when treats get cheaper. We have never seen this. Stagflation is when treats stop being delivered and prices rise anyway. We have seen this on Mondays. A recession is when the bowl is empty for more than one hour.
The firm’s position
We believe that inflation is best handled calmly. We advise clients to avoid panic, avoid shouting, and avoid pushing objects off tables in protest, though we admit the last one is extremely satisfying.
Please remember this is a parody. We are not qualified, we are not licensed, and we do not know what inflation is. Consult a real adviser for real money. Our advice is free, and worth exactly that.
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